I Wish I Had a Slightly Smaller Middle Ring

Seven times over Donegore Hill, 3 from Parkgate and 4 from the footbridge, is enough to bore any man rigid, especially when you are on your own. Such was the lot of Cash on Monday night, whilst Tango worked out in some posers gym with his boss in England.

Tango likes to think this sign near the bottom of the Hill is a warning to motorists that he may be in the vicinity. Whatever.

CK Works - Backstage

Beneath the swan-like poise of Crazy Ken and his brain-child CK Works, the little feet are paddling like mad. With the workshop run with a Germanic ruthless efficiency, and an order and structure bordering on the obsessive, nothing can come between CK Works and its calling to build the best damn bikes you ever did see! Our beasts for the Transalp Challenge are in safe hands.

Night Moves

With Tango back to full strength following his deep-throat infection, Donegore Hill got a good roasting 6 times from both the footbridge and Parkgate directions last night... until the inevitable Tango puncture, of course. 900 metres climbing in 2 hours, so all we need to do is several of those every day for 8 days, and we will be laughing our way towards a Transalp Challenge Finisher's Shirt.

Ford Galaxy - Much Maligned, Oft Misunderstood

We owe the quality of our biking lives to "one of them gas drinking, piston clinking, air polluting, smoke belching, four wheeled buggies from Detroit City" (as Jerry Reed, Snowman in "Smokie and the Bandit" put it in his 1973 hit "Lord, Mr. Ford").

The Galaxy can take 5 hearty blokes and 5 trail-hungry bikes in relative comfort and safety over land and sea, making a mockery of the Sunday Telegraph poll that placed it 9th in the list celebrating "Worst Car, 2005".

- See the lyrics to the full Jerry Reed song "Lord, Mr. Ford" here
- Buy Jerry Reed's "The Essential" here - He looks like an eejit on the front, but I SWEAR you'll love it!
- Read "Smokie & The Bandit" information on Internet Movie Database here

It's... It's... It's ALIVE!!!!

The inputs? A Scott Tampico frame, rusty thumb-shifters, bent cranks and a cheese and pickle sandwich (20 quid for the lot).

The result - the latest output from CK Works. Triple-butted (when you sit on it), climbs like a hard-tail (well, OK, it is a hardtail), lovely matching yellow forks, with the stanchions ribbed, for your pleasure.

Allll Byyeeee Mysellllfff. Dowanna be...

While Tango licked his lollypop and admired sweaty men in leather at the Northwest 200, the Cash chainset continued to rattle and squeak for 4 hours around Tardree, Donegore & Parkgate on Saturday 13 May.

A solid 1,200 metres of climbing in perfect conditions, followed by a well-deserved feed in Subway at Junction One - heaven!

Transalp Challenge Skills Masterclass 4 - Tyre Compound

Key to maximising performance is choosing the right kit, and choosing a tyre compound that suits the proposed terrain and weather conditions is one that can make all the difference in an event such as the Transalp Challenge.

Here we see a conservative approach taken, normally adopted in changeable weather conditions and terrains. The beauty of this approach is somewhat hampered by the need to bring extra shoes; hiking boots for rough hill-tracks, and runners for tarmac.

The Scots will eat ANYTHING!

A rare and welcome breather at Kirroughtree, Scotland.

One is advised to think twice before trying the thinly sliced cured ham at this Scottish borders beauty spot.

Quarter-pipe? Half-pipe? Full-pipe!!

It seemed like a good idea at the time. Respect goes out to all our country's tunnellers - this is not easy.

Seven Stanes Heaven

Saturday 6 May was a glorious day in Kirroughtree, Scotland. It proved to be Tango's perfect opportunity to carve up "The White Witch", the trail that broke his arm in December (thereby inspiring the Transalp Challenge adventure), with a virtuoso performance on a fully rigid bike.

Two laps of the black run, with a brief interval for baked potatoes and cheese, was just about enough pedalling to work up an appetite for Chinese food in Stranraer on the way home.

Holy Futurama!

Ike was in the White House, Sputnik was in space, and the Bowden Spacelander was the future of cycling.

Tour of the Glens 2006

Whilst Tango lay in his sick-bed with a swollen throat (which made him look remarkably like Jonny Vegas), Cash ploughed his furrow alone on the annual Tour of the Glens 200K, albeit there were about 200 others doing it.

8 hours and 45 minutes after starting, Cash proudly wore a finisher's medal, supped Coke and ate Homewheats outside Belfast City Hall, the memory of having been directly responsible for 2 competitor pile-ups only a distant electrical pulse.